The Count, George Clooney and Oprah

30. The Count of Montecristo

I’m paying homage to Amazon’s number 1 seller in classics with this nomination. Honestly, I think that the Count would be a fab president. He definitely is the epitome of pulling himself out of the gutter to be a strong, contributing member of society. And he’s already had the experience to make him realize that violence isn’t the answer. I mean, you’d think that with all of McCain’s 72 years, he would have figured that out by now…What’s that McCain? Oh, oh you were a prisoner of war? Well, did you lose your wife to an old friend? No? Did you escape a wrongful imprisonment by faking your own death? No? Did you seek vengeance on everyone that wronged you and eventually show some mercy before leaving all your wealth to someone more deserving? No? Pssh. And you call yourself a maverick.

29. George Clooney

I think that Roseanne Barr said it best in an article for Time: “He can drink too much and still, while standing in a bar parking lot at 3am, discuss the world with such passion and good sense that you actually stop imagining him nude and really listen. Simply as I can put it, George can run for president (and maybe should) and get my vote.” If you’ve got Roseanne’s vote, I think you’ve pretty much got the middle class. I can’t do George justice on my own. The only drawback that I can really find is that he wouldn’t have a first lady, but I’m pretty sure there are a few actresses in Hollywood that could step into the role if called upon. And I mean, just because there are times when we would stop picturing him naked doesn’t mean we couldn’t ever picture it. As my own personal contribution to this segment, I would like George Clooney to be our next president because I would enjoy a strip club look-alike contest far better if it were based on him and not some crazy Alaskan. He’s too sexy for the presidency, not just his shirt.

28. Oprah

Have you been alive in the United States since 1986? Because Oprah has ruled the nation for the past 22 years. Now, I’m not Oprah’s biggest fan, or really her fan at all. But I can’t deny the power that she has over the American population. She’s been called the world’s most influential woman time and time again. Everything she touches is gold, okay? She’s got her own magazine, her own television show, her own radio channel (XM, of course), and she is currently working on developing her own television channel. Is there anything that this woman can’t do? And the best part about her is that she inspires others to copy her every move. If Oprah reads a book, we all read that book. If Oprah starts eating healthy, we all start eating healthy.  Even people who don’t like charity love Oprah, because while she manages to take on important causes like world hunger and poverty, she doesn’t forget to give back to the people in her home country. Remember when she gave her studio audience new cars? What if she became president and gave the whole nation new eco-friendly cars? It’s a win-win.


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