Katie, Howie, and Jonesy

54. Katie Couric

I know. I know. Katie was like journalism-lite for a long time and Barbara was the hardcore journalist. But then Barbara Walters started The View and Katie started doing the CBS Evening News. No woman had ever held that position before, so she’s got the experience of being the first woman at stuff. She won’t let it go to her head. Turns out she’s the one who didn’t go crazy. Lately, Katie has been seen interviewing Sarah Palin. Her interview demonstrated that at the time (and probably now) Katie knew more about the issues of the Vice Presidency than Sarah Palin. But really, I think that Katie should be President because she’s been totally open and honest with us for our own benefit. I mean, remember that whole colonoscopy thing? Katie let us really get to know her, inside and out.

53. Howard Zinn

He wrote A People’s History of the US (and 20 other books), mainly because he’s been around for the majority of that history. Yes, he’s older than McCain, but he’s smart enough to pick a legit VP to succeed in the event of his death. More over, he realizes how important life is to each individual, which is one of the reasons that he has opposed multiple wars (including the current Iraq war). He has always represented the view of the underdog, the not-so-official side of history. But the important part is: he actually knows what has happened in the past. He is aware of the mistakes our government has made and won’t make them again. The tiny little piece that pushed him over the edge for me, of course, is his friendship with Pearl Jam. Perhaps this means that they will agree to rewrite our national anthem to something a little more hip.

52. James Earl Jones

Now, I’m not talking Darth Vader. I’m talking Mufasa. and Mr. Mertle But now that it’s come up, maybe it’s not so bad that’s he’s done voice overs for villains as well. This way, he understands what makes up the cosmos’s greatest villain so that when our own villains come to call, Jonesy can predict their moves. Of course, it IS more important to have the good qualities under control. But after playing Mr. Mertle in Sandlot and Mufasa in the Lion King, Jonesy’s all about being the inspirational old man. Mertle was all about second chances and perseverance, which our country needs a little bit more of right now. Mufasa, of course, showed an incredible amount of faith in his son to bring his land back to its previous place at the top of the economy food chain. Which is great, because that means he’ll show an incredible amount of faith in his “children” as president. His “children” being, of course, us. The American peoples. And we will have the political father with the most comforting voice in all the world.

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